Loss of a close friend
Last week my grandson experienced the loss of a close personal friend. As I reflected upon his situation, I was impressed to articulate my most current understandings of our unique psychological identities and how feelings point us toward new discoveries that bring about life enrichment. Sadly my grandson was still too distraught to welcome an intellectual interaction. Although greater understanding always brings relief, we often have to experience or process emotional pain before sufficient energy is accumulated that we recognize a desire for change and redirect our attention to finding the understanding that brings relief.
The Language of Feelings
This morning as I was rearranging a bookshelf trying to find room for the steady stream of new books that seem to spontaneously appear in my office, I chanced upon a book I read in 1976 called “The Language of Feelings” by David Viscott MD. As I glanced through it, I was pleased to recognize how far my insights had grown and at the same time at how easily what I glanced upon conjured up clear ideas that build upon or extended some of the original ideas of the book.
Each of us have developed in unique personal environments. We possess uniquely individual psychological perspectives. We find common events affect each person differently. One mans tragedy is not necessarily felt the same by others and we understand why.
Feelings reflect our emotions
Beyond the five physical senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell we find what are commonly termed “Emotional Feelings”. We often refer to such with phrases like “I feel excited, or I feel sad, afraid, angry, depressed, excited or happy”. I want to talk about these Feelings. We sense these as the “emotions”. But what are our emotions and why are they so different one person to another and even with ourselves, different one day to another?
Categories of Emotion
The emotions can be categorized in far more than five categories. Unlike the five physical senses, they can NOT be discretely differentiated by referring to the physical organ initially involved in its sensing.
Emotional feelings are subjectively formed and psychologically felt in the mind.
While we might consider the emotions are sensed by the brain and be correct that they are, emotional feelings are purely psychological. Rather than being initiated by physical organ stimulation like stimulation sened by the eye initiates sight, emotional feelings are initiated by psychological stimulation.
While sight is sensed in response to physical stimulation of the eye, feelings are subjectively felt in response to our interpretation of that physical event. Once you realize that, you’ll recognize: feelings are also felt in response to contemplations of probable future physical and psychological events. Even events projected entirely within the imagination. We all know the emotional feelings associated with knowing we’re in a lot of trouble for what we just did or by what we just saw. We can have feelings based upon what we imagine true of a future trouble that hasn’t yet been experienced physically.
Imagination greatly magnifies and intensifies the actual physically sensed event. Would you accept that emotional feelings related to physical events are 98% projection created in forming the interpretation that causes 100% of the emotional feeling and intensity. Actually, I’m near concluding that our emotional feelings are 100% projection of meaning initiated by a stimulating event.
All sensing is psychological
Since we are NOT conscious of the five senses until they are recognized psychologically, it should be obvious that all sensing MUST in fact be sensed psychologically before it has any real meaning. Considering that we can be fooled by our five senses to have a completely erroneous perception regarding an event and experience it completely inconsistent with the same event correctly observed, it should also be obvious that all emotional feelings are subjective; subject to our meaningful interpretation.
Our emotional feelings are subject to personal interpretation
Emotional feelings vary with our personal interpretation of the the event being experienced. The process of interpreting meaning involves two key components:
1. The value we place upon the event we’re focused upon in our event experience
2. The relative degree of certainty we associate to the permanency of that experience
If we are certain we’ve just won the lottery, we experience near bliss at the extreme end of the emotional spectrum. We associate great value with winning and have certainty of its’ permanency.
If we are certain we’ve just won the right to be entered into the lottery, it is NOT so extreme as we do NOT value the “chance of winning” the same as “having won the lottery” even though we are certain we’ve won a “chance in the contest” to win the same valued lottery prize.
In actuality, all emotions are in response to the meanings and interpretations we give to the events we evaluate and permanency we assign in interpreting meaning.
Emotional Labels
The various feelings are given labels attempting to categorize or group relatively similar psychological sensings into ranges of mind sensing states. Each emotion category covers a range of feelings that lies within the complete spectrum of psychological feelings labeled in ranges from despair and despondency at the most painful extreme to elation, ecstasy and bliss at the most pleasing.
While we can all relate to the labels given to these psychological states, for most, the extremes in the full range of emotions are rarely experienced.
Feelings fall within general categories. They also vary in terms of intensity within those categories. The labels we give to our emotional states attempt to reflect those categories and the varying degrees of intensity within the contiguous spectrum of feeling sensations.
They are all referred to as “Our Feelings” emphasizing their “personal” subjective nature as they are certainly NOT experienced equally by all individuals participating in a common event.
Reflect upon some of the labels given to emotional feelings identified by Karla McLaren:
Soft Sadness
Regretful ~ Disappointed ~ Disconnected ~ Distracted ~ Low ~ Listless ~ Wistful
Mood State Sadness
Sad ~ World-weary ~ Down ~ Melancholy ~ Mournful ~ Weepy ~ Grieving ~ Gloomy ~ Dejected ~ Downtrodden ~ Heavy-hearted ~ Forlorn ~ Sorrowful ~ Dispirited ~ Discouraged ~ Drained
Intense Sadness
Despairing ~ Bleak ~ Despondent ~ Depressed ~ Anguished ~ Inconsolable ~ Grief-stricken ~ Hopeless ~ Heartbroken ~ Morose ~ Bereaved
Soft Shame
Hesitant ~ Flushed ~ Self-conscious ~ Speechless ~ Discomfited ~ Awkward ~ Humble ~ Reticent ~Abashed ~ Flustered ~ Withdrawn
Mood State Shame
Ashamed ~ Guilty ~ Embarrassed ~ Intimidated ~ Penitent ~ Regretful ~ Remorseful ~ Chagrined ~ Culpable ~ Reproachful ~ Sheepish ~ Rueful ~ Contrite ~ Humbled
Intense Shame
Humiliated ~ Guilt-ridden ~ Guilt-stricken ~ Disgraced ~ Stigmatized ~ Mortified ~ Demeaned ~ Self-condemning ~ Self-flagellating ~ Degraded ~ Shamefaced ~ Belittled ~ Ostracized
Soft Jealousy and Envy
Suspicious ~ Insecure ~ Distrustful ~ Protective
Mood State Jealousy and Envy
Jealous ~ Envious ~ Covetous ~ Threatened ~ Demanding ~ Desirous
Intense Jealousy and Envy
Greedy ~ Grasping ~ Persistently jealous ~ Possessive ~ Resentful ~ Threatened ~ Gluttonous ~ Green with envy ~ Avaricious
Soft Anger
Annoyed ~ Frustrated ~ Cross ~ Apathetic ~ Peeved ~ Irritated ~ Cranky ~ Crabby ~ Bored ~ Impatient ~ Critical ~ Cold ~ Displeased ~ Rankled ~ Detached ~ Indifferent
Mood State Anger
Angry ~ Mad ~ Offended ~ Antagonized ~ Bristling ~ Sarcastic ~ Aggravated ~ Arrogant ~ Indignant ~ Inflamed ~ Affronted ~ Resentful ~ Incensed ~ Exasperated ~ Riled up
Intense Anger
Hostile ~ Aggressive ~ Livid ~ Outraged ~ Furious ~ Belligerent ~ Hateful ~ Appalled ~ Bitter ~ Ranting ~ Raving ~ Contemptuous ~ Disgusted ~ Vengeful ~ Vindictive ~ Violent ~ Irate ~ Menacing ~ Seething ~ Vicious ~ Spiteful
Soft Happiness
Smiling ~ Upbeat ~ Peaceful ~ Calm ~ Amused ~ Open ~ Friendly ~ Encouraged ~ Hopeful ~ Inspired ~ Jovial
Mood State Happiness
Happy ~ Glad ~ Content ~ Optimistic ~ Cheerful ~ Joyful ~ Satisfied ~ Lively ~ Delighted ~ Rejuvenated ~ Pleased ~ Gratified ~ Excited ~ Gleeful ~ Merry ~ Playful
Intense Happiness
Elated ~ Exhilarated ~ Manic ~ Giddy ~ Euphoric ~ Awe-filled ~ Blissful ~ Enthralled ~ Rapturous ~ Jubilant ~ Ecstatic ~ Overjoyed ~ Radiant
Pasted from <http://karlamclaren.com/emotional-vocabulary-page/>
It’s up to you – What do you want to experience today?
How we experience or feel about an event depends entirely upon where we focus of our attention, our imagination, and our beliefs about what we focused upon. As with all experience, how we feel about an event can be very different from one person to the next reflecting the wide selection of many factors we can choose to focus upon as each contributes differently to the experience of “feelings”. In deed, where we choose to focus our attention contributes directly to the “quality” of our experience. We’ve all seen the angry child that refuses to participate in his party choosing instead to sulk in reflection of some perceived mistreatment.
It’s belief all the way up and belief all the way down
The two key components of emotional interpretation are beliefs. Our belief as to value, and our belief as to certainty of permanency. These two, like all beliefs, have their own key component requisites that must be met before they are accepted as true, realistic and believed:
1. There must have been recognition of references supporting the latest interpretation as being congruent with our current reality (prior interpretations established as beliefs).
2. There must have been cognitive conclusion or decision that the recognized references were sufficient to conclude the newly forming interpretation is true; ie, congruent with our current reality (our established beliefs).
Here again, I am sure you’ve noticed these beliefs too are formed upon the foundation of prior beliefs and so it is with all beliefs. Each are based upon what came before as will all new beliefs that come after.
When the common belief components of our emotional feelings are all factored out, it appears all emotional states come down to the subjective cognitive decisions we decided in forming our prior interpretations and how we recognize each subsequent event and decide it relative our interpretations to those prior cognitive events.
The Past does NOT equal the future as your Power is in the present!
While our past beliefs are the foundation upon which we evaluate new beliefs, We are NOT trapped by our past. We can reshape and change poorly serving beliefs of fear and limitation and use them to interpret the meaning of future events and thereby affect our quality of experience felt as emotion.
We do this with each new interpretation felt as emotional feeling.
… the quality of your experiences are up to you, what you decide to focus upon in life and what you decide to believe about that focus. Start today with the realization you live in a cooperative universe. All the promises of God are NOW – YES! and Amen! Set your intention to give attention to that which you value most! Discriminate in what you’ll recognize, the conclusions you decide to believe, and the reality you realize will follow.
Nothing is impossible if you believe! Ask and you’ll receive. Believe you receive it now and it you shall have. That’s MY reality and I am sticking with it. Will you join me to change the world?
Believe it to realize it