They say; Charity is the giving of oneself?

In years past I spoke with many that express high value for altruism while adamantly denying they do it for themselves. They were so strongly invested and attached in their position, it was hard to even engage conversation.  They spoke as if the mere admission of a self serving motive would constitute some kind of anathema.

The mere association with self-service was so detrimental to what they highly value that they appear prohibited or unable to even ask themselves if their charitable pursuits bring them any personal fulfillment. It was as if their charity must be unfulfilling or it would NOT be charity; that they must have suffered or they could consider their pursuit successful.

In regards to hardship, they have no problem discussing the difficulties they endure for their charitable acts. They speak that the giving of their last mite is much more highly valued than their giving thousands from any abundance. We also see the corollary, that poverty is preferred over an abundance from successful living. Such seems to be entwined with and a key part of the meaning of charity.

There is certainly some underlying belief that trumps the recognition of personal value enrichment on operation.  What is it? Have I developed similar limiting beliefs anywhere? If so, it is crucial that they be identified as such are very detrimental to a valued fulfilling life.

I recognize there are always strong underlying beliefs behind emotional demonstrations. I recognize that to get such emotive responses, there have to be belief of potential threat to something highly desired.

The most I am able to understand is that they are adamant to reject recognition of personal benefit because association with benefit and being in a state of having personal abundance negates them from gaining this something they value even more.

They are uncomfortable with discussion, because they fear even discussion may change the situation so as to cause them to lose their highly valued “precious“.

It seems quite a contradiction in light of my discoveries; quite a paradox.

To get a better understanding of their individual belief and to better understand this kind of belief paradox, let’s summarize what we have found and note what our intuition might discover reading between the lines so to speak.  Let us reconcile what we heard and what we know of value fulfillment and personal motivation?

The following was observed. I will next simply identify the knowns without judgement or trying to correct what I think is wrong or better:

• Being charitable is highly valued.
• Being charitable can not include a self-serving motive or it is not charitable.
• There is strong emotionally charged resistance to discussing or even considering self-service benefits of charity.
• There is strong resistance to exploring the personal elements of their values almost to the extent they think their values originate outside of themselves.

• Strong emotional resistance always indicates a perception of pending loss to value fulfillment.
• Perception of loss is the conclusion of a process where multiple beliefs are harmonized.
  • What we believe will affect our value fulfillment
  • How we believe a contemplated current action will align or misalign with those beliefs resulting in an affect upon our value fulfillment.

From the above I conclude the active errant beliefs must be something like:

• Being Charitable is a highly rewarding and personally value fulfilling.
  But:
  • Any action that is NOT charitable is greatly diminished in terms of value fulfillment.
  • Charitable action that involves sacrifice are better than that which is less difficult.
  • Charitable action ceases to be charitable, if there is no sacrifice.
  • Charitable action can NOT include any self serving elements or it is NOT charitable.
  • Recognizing personal benefit, negates the value of charitable action.
  • Discussing charitable action in terms of beneficial elements is not allowed as such might reveal a personal benefit and negate the entire (can I say benefit) of the charitable action.

From the above it should be obvious there is a contradictory conundrum posing a quandary and dilemma that their ego consciousness prefers to ignore rather than face.

My first thought was that the Charity quandary is NOT one that is particularly suited to help me resolve my own quandaries as my conundrums are not such blatant internal contradictions.
(I hear my ego; I am so much better than that.)

I heard myself saying: My quandary is in adding the satisfaction of an external mandate, It is not an internal conflict. Yet in adding the external mandate, I am not much different. With an external mandate,  we have objectives that are in contradiction to personal self fulfillment. They are the same; they are contradicting beliefs.  I have opposing contradictory objectives at play, they are opposing beliefs and they can not both be true.  I can NOT pursue both and achieve our fullest potentials for value fulfillment and fulfilling life.

My thought is: the main difference is the origin of the contradiction.  Origin is NOT important as understanding how the contradiction originates and correcting it. In this pursuit I then realize:

• The primary difference between the altruistically charitable person unable to recognize any benefit and the so-called self absorbed individual that acts charitably is simply what one believes and values in regards to being charitable.

Personal Fulfillment

What ever is found of interest to explore, the value found  in its’ exploration, and the enjoyment of the discoveries made thereby is the goal of all life’s pursuits. We must never allow our potential for valued life fulfillment to be limited to those values that can also be reflected as valued by others.

What we value results from what we believe. What we believe is from what we have previously perceived and experienced.  Those around us, even the objects of our creative expressions may never share our beliefs and values. We can not reject what we value on the basis that another can not comprehend the same.  We can not grade or limit our personal enjoyment to those actions that find others to perceive the same recognitions.

We must shed and resist any belief that dampens or negates the furtherance of value fulfillment.

We can not accept an external mandate for outside acceptance. Such is not possible where unique individuals develop eccentric personalities.

The belief that another, others or the mass of human society must reflect appreciation before we can enjoy the experience of our creative expressions is an extremely limiting belief.

We can not limit fulfillment of creative expression to those expressions which do NOT produce personal benefit.

Such should be recognized as a blatant contradiction to a fulfilling life. We should never engage activity that does not further value fulfillment.

That is what I understand is the purpose of life!

That’s my reality, and I am sticking with it!

 

We need only believe it to realize it. – BelieveIt 2 RealizeIt